Love Yourself and Watch

To love yourself is the first step to developing spiritually. We have been told to love

others but not to love ourselves. This is a very harmful piece of advice and we will get

into trouble if we attempt to follow it.
We have been told that if we love ourselves we will develop a big ego, become a

narcissist and so forth. However the exact opposite is true. Watch the do-gooders, the

people who serve society, the politicians, the missionaries, and the social workers. You

will observe that they have the biggest egos of all. They will tell themselves that they do

not love themselves but love humanity. Their egos will be nourished and they will

develop big egos.
In fact unless these servants of humanity love themselves their love for humanity will

only be an ego trip and they will do harm instead of good.
Osho Rajneesh says that it is only the person who loves himself who can love others. Just

as you respect yourself you will find yourself respecting others. Just as you meet your

own needs you will find yourself understanding the needs of others. Osho compares

loving yourself with a pebble being thrown into a lake. The ripples caused by the pebble

will at first arise close to the pebble. It is only later that the ripples spread out and reach

the shores of the lake.
If you prevent the ripples from arising close to the pebble naturally they will also not

reach to the shore. In a similar manner unless you love yourself you will not be able to

love others.
Another benefit to loving yourself is that you will be able to meditate. You will be able to

be alone with yourself only if you love yourself. A person who hates himself will seek all

manner of distractions because he will not be able to stand his own company. He will

seek out friends to socialize with, go to a movie, or switch on the tube - anything to take

him away from himself. Doing meditation means being alone with yourself and you will

only benefit from this practice if you love yourself.
And the practice of meditation, the watching - which is the second instruction of the sutra

will help you and benefit you in many ways. Indeed it is possible to learn to love yourself

by doing meditation if you follow the right method.
The method for cultivating love for yourself by meditation is this - watch whatever arises

during the course of your meditation, and acknowledge it. You may want to focus on the

in breath and the out breath as you are doing the meditation. Thoughts and feelings will

inevitably arise. Welcome those thoughts and feelings and acknowledge them. Just this

much is required - no more. This is a powerful Buddhist method of meditation and it will

lead to all manner of benefits in your life, in your relationship with yourself and with

others. You can practice this method of acknowledging your thoughts and feelings at

stray moments during the day when you have nothing to do. During a traffic jam, while

waiting for a bus or train - whenever you find time, practice acknowledging your

thoughts and feelings. Anchor yourself in the present moment by simultaneously

observing the breath. Follow this practice for a few weeks and observe the changes in

your life.
Awareness of yourself, observing yourself is a source of bliss and also transformation.

The story is told of Nagarjuna the famous Indian mystic. Once a thief came to him and

said that he desired to learn and practice the way. The thief said that he is prepared to do

anything but not to give up stealing. He asked if Nagarjuna would accept him as a student

and would teach him. Nagarjuna said, "Certainly I will", and taught him the techniques of

self-observation and mindfulness. He simply asked the thief to practice mindfulness as he

went about his job of robbing people. The thief went home and tried to follow these

teachings. A week later he returned to Nagarjuna and asked to be accepted as a disciple.

The thief said that he had found it impossible to rob others and at the same time be

mindful. He had to choose - either be conscious and not steal or be unconscious and

steal. This was the choice faced by the thief. Nagarjuna accepted the thief as a disciple

and later the thief went on to become enlightened.
Be conscious and watch as you go about your daily activities as well as during

meditation. You will find that truly - virtue is its own reward.
I hope you enjoyed this article and that it will be useful to you.
Stay tuned for more in this continuing series.

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